SexSwap is part of Gamma Entertainment
www.gammacash.com/frameindex.php3

This is the almost weekly SexSwap News-Tips-Trix and it goes to all members of
SexSwap and SexSwap2 and AsianSwap and GaySexSwap and SexSwap2000 Banner
Exchanges. It contains information on SexSwap, Porn, Tips'n'Trix, and software
reviews for the adult webmaster. I perform all literary stunts without the use of
nets, safety-cables, spell checkers, or grammar fixers, and this tends to leave
the reader in a state of bewilderment...you will get used to it.

REMOVAL INSTRUCTIONS -> click www.sexswap.com/removal.html

-----------------------------------------------
Total requests: 141920115
Total ShowAd: 139892987
Average ShowAd per second: 118.3
Average ShowAd per day: 10.2 million
ShowAd per second (Running last 59 seconds)...
Hi: 212, Lo: 149, Avg: 178.6
Max accounts: 16384
Total number of accounts: 9143
-----------------------------------------------

wow, I just about had a conniption fit 3 seconds ago...my email program started asking for a password to get into an account that had no passwords...I thought "a week's work of swapnews gone!" ...whew...a ctrl alt delete and restart and I am back in business. I have no idea what caused that. It is another tower of babble week for SexSwap news. Huge stories this week to bring to the fore front and debate. The biggest story hit late last week with 100 arrested for a huge internet child porn site with 300,000 paying members! Lots on that below. Then Luke Ford (writer of adult industry) calls it quits for religious reasons....you know I am going to have to hammer on that one. I also am experimenting with a new mainstream program of mojo's. What's got me really excited is the experimentation I am doing on GOTO and GOOGLE! Lot't on that with the hardcore math below. Then to finish it all up...the pro-level calypso email tutorial! I think this is why my email was just acting up since I did some funny settings. Wait...there is a bonus thing I just thought up...every once in a while I ask for code from our programming readers. I thought "why not award some hardware prizes for code from the computer junk drawer". I must have 3 filing cabinets full of crud...perhaps a weekly or monthly event will be a programming challenge followed by picking of a prize from the junk drawer! Mobo's, modems. HDs, and more...a little dusty, but all working. This weeks programming challenge is for UltraEdit masters.

enough...mix the starbucks...on with the show!

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

ADDED HOT LINKS TO SwapNews 184 AND UP
every once in a while I run a regular expression script on the old sexswap archives and this takes the plain text issues and make the links work. I just updated from issue 184 and on. if you read the letter online, I think you will find this to save some time when perusing the archives :)
trix.sexswap.com

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

US LARGEST CHILD PORN ARRESTS
if you live under a rock, you might of missed the news late last week that 100 people arrested and a webmaster was sentenced to 1300 years in jail for a huge online child porn operation. The couple was running a child porn site from the US, but hosted and webmastered in Russia. What is very sad is that they had 300,000 paying members. They had months grossing $1M+....Eeek. I am glad the feds are catching up with online technology and are being more successful in these kinds of arrests. This type of site gives us all a bad name and gives the internet and technology a bad name in general.

100 ARRESTED IN CHILD PORN BUST from sign_bldr
sentenced to over 1300 years behind bars. A two year investigation. The website had 300,000 subscribers!
www.msnbc.com/news/610808.asp?pne=msn

US TARGETS PORN SITE'S CUSTOMERS from Virginie
www.cnn.com/2001/LAW/08/08/ashcroft.childporn/index.html

100 ARRESTED from Richard
www.msnbc.com/news/610808.asp?pne=msn

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

LUKE FORD LEAVES PORN from Charles
www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,46001,00.html
Charles emailed in this shocking story. Ford has sold his site for $25k and is moving to Jerusalem. He had been uncovered and humiliated in his synagogue. This story touches on many issues that have we have all dealt with.
Is sex bad?
Is nudity evil?
If I like nudity, am I unusual?
Is it immoral to work in the adult industry?

I think you know my answers - no, no ,no ,no. Should our adult world identities be kept secret from the people in our lives? Should we be ashamed? I am extrememly opinionated on all these subjects. First off, how can sex be bad? It is a natural act done by all societies throughout the world. It feels good. No one is harmed. That cannot be bad. It is insane that many religions attempt to demonize sex and nudity. The societies that supress SEX the most, are statistically the same societies where the position of women in society is lowest. These same societies also supress gay and lesbians the most. Societies where sex if accepted, tend to be the same societies where women are the most equal and have similar power to men in society. Read Nadine Strauson's book "Defending Pornography"
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0814781497/ref=ase_taunt/002-5665962-0617630

Do you live in secret? I know I asked this a year or two ago in a SexSwap survey. Many people do live in secracy and what I remember that was even more astounding, was that some webmasters didn't even tell their husbands and wives! I am generally out of the closet when it comes to my history on the adult web. I don't blurt it out, but I generally try to tell all close friends in time. Why? The reason I tell them is because I use it as a friendship filter! :) I want to filter irrational people (generally the hardcore religious) from my life. Those that find it offensive, will end our friendship...which is completely fine with me since I don't want to be friends with the irrational. How was Luke Ford discovered in his shul? I can only imagine that his religious colleagues discovered his secret identity while they were looking at PORN! Does this not stink of hypocracy. Mr Ford has to decide internally what his moral compass should be. I personally think he should use this incident to break from his church and get new rational friends that have better things to worry about. Why are you in porn? I would have to think the two most common reasons are a) you love sex and nudity or b) money. Who is kidding who, I started in the adult world for the money and the beutiful women are sure a nice bonus. I sleep well at night since my belief system tells me sex is not evil. I had no idea Luke Ford has such a deep internal struggle. Adult internet can be lucrative, that shouldn't be the only reason you make your living at it. Being a hitman can be lucrative, but I would not suggest it as a full time position. If 'pig slaughtering' was was a lucrative business, I could NOT be in that business. It just doesn't fit on my moral compass. If you have an internal struggle like Luke's, you might want to do some soul searching to make sure you are doing what you want to do. I am not sure what I am trying to say here in this post. I have never met Luke Ford. I generally am just disappointed when a person destroys his life work due to the irrational forces of religion. I hope he has made the correct decision and I hope we are all comfortable and enjoy what we do in life.

Comments? Email them in and I will add them to next weeks newsletter andy@lips.com

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

TESTING GOTO, GOOGLE AND TYPE-INS ON CELL PHONES by Guru-O-Gif
I don't recall if I mentioned MojoMoney's latest program a few weeks back. He is giving away cellular phones on his site
www.clickhereforcellphones.com
You get paid $37 a sign-up. I thought this seemed like an above average deal and it was time for me to get out the slide ruler and do some mathematical search engine testing. Mojo warned me that porn sites do not do well with this product. I sent my lips.com type ins and after 2000, I had not one application. He did say that mainstream email newsletters rock for this sort of thing. I still thought there was a good opportunity here to test. First stop was GOTO

GOTO ROUGH START
I applied for a new GOTO account and chocked it up with $200. I forwarded the URL right to the site. I was mad as a wet hen when goto denied my links since they said this was not right and I have to have my own site...what bullshit. So I made a feeder page on lips and they finally accepted it. Like if I was "mojo" they would accept the page...but since I am affilaite...the page is not ok...I find this logic fool hearty. There were no lies...just they do not want affilates directly linking. Goto approved 4 words and I began testing. I did get 2 applications within the first 3 days. This is great and I was sure to make money on the ads if this kept up. There exists another problem now at Goto. Beside have the minimum bid now being 5 cents, you also must spend $20 a month. I was going to spend $6 at the current rate. I had to buy more words.

GOTO EXCEL SHEET
from my old days of goto I knew there was a fast submission spreadsheet that you can submit from 41 to 25,000 terms on. It is called the Power Advertiser Change Form
goto.com/d/about/advertisers/uspowerform.jhtml

I used the search word tool and found 110 great words.
inventory.goto.com/d/searchinventory/suggestion/

I submitted the words and guess what ...109 words denied! this is bullshit! :) SECRET TIP ...Here is a theory for all readers...I currently believe that the power submission form is read by a computer with filters and not a human. I believe the html 40 word submission page is human read. I think you have a great chance of having words accepted with the 40 html submission form. My problem is that my site just has a gif on it so the computer can find no words related to anything. Let me see if I can paste my results so far in here
start date - end date - term - bid - avg position - total clicks - total cost - total cpc
Aug 08 2001 Aug 12 2001 cellular phone for free 0.05 6 0 0.00 0.00
Aug 08 2001 Aug 09 2001 cellular phone free 0.05 5 2 0.10 0.05
Aug 09 2001 Aug 12 2001 free cellular phone offer 0.05 5 1 0.05 0.05
Aug 08 2001 Aug 12 2001 free cellular phone service 0.05 2 12 0.60 0.05

clearly this shows huge stuff we already knew about the engines but it really hits home...the words I am in 5th and 6th spot got almost NO clicks and the one term I was in the #2 slot got almost all my clicks..but is it worth it to pay to move up? Personally I feel you can only know by testing. This week my goal is to add 100 words and get my term count up. So far I would rate goto a 7 / 10. I love the concept. I hate the 3-5 day wait and the hurdles they made me jump. The model is fair to me. I know some of you hate them but I consider them awesome for testing and for $100 you can test your lips off...I can't beat that with a stick. The math on buying goto ads is 5 cents a click or more.

GOOGLE
just for the hell of it, I decided to test google adwords.
www.google.com/ads/

First, I was delighted with google in that I had an ad account up and running in 15 minutes AND my ads were LIVE right then. This to me is the way to do it and then police abusers, after the fact. The thing that scares most people away from google is $10 cpm. Well, again it is all math and you can't find out if it is profitable without testing. I bought 4 words. Within two days I was averaging a 7% click rate. What does this mean?

MATH OF GOOGLE
5
7% time 1000 showing is 70 clicks for $10
that is $10 / 70 or 14.28 cents a click....Eeek! Fierce! BUT, google had awesome stats as well and notices that one of my words never got clicked...If I removed it from my campaign, I would have a 12% click rate
$10 / (.12x1000) = approximately 8 cents a click...8 cents is still more than 5 cents, but is better than 14. Google give you lots of math to study and keep an eye on your campaign.

GOTO AD
here is the ad I am running on GOTO
How to Get a Free Cell Phone Quickly
At Last! The slick Motorola 5165 StarTac flip phone is available free. We also just added the trick Ericsson A1228 to our offer. NO CHARGE for Caller ID, 3 way, voice mail, or call waiting.

GOOGLE AD
one drawback of google is that your ad is really short
How to Get a Free Cell
At Last! The Motorola StarTAC and the Nokia 5165 are available free

WHAT'S THE SKINNY
$350 in ads bought (balances slowly reducing)
$4.19 spent so far on google, and .85 cents spent on goto
about $75 bucks made from Mojo.
so I am up about $70 net in a week...not bad...can't complain. I won't really know til later since it has only been a few days.

WHAT'S NEXT
this week I had Mojo set me up three accounts so I can watch sign-ups from type-ins, goto, and google seperately and report back to you.

WHAT'S ALL THE HUB BUB BUB
well, I just wanted to share some of the results of my search engine testing. Some of you have awesome mainstream and adult products with great margins and with a little testing on these types of engines with good ads, you might be suprised that you can ad to your bottom line if testing is positive. Never in the history of marketing have results been so mathematically exact and immidate. This would be David Ogilvy's dream. He is the KING...if you haven't read his book, it is truely a classic and a bible of mine and most people in advertising. the stories are old and crusty but his ads are awesome, long copy ads
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/039472903X/ref=ase_taunt/002-5665962-0617630

here is another well done ad book called Triggers
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1891686038/ref=ase_taunt/002-5665962-0617630

if you are looking for an interesting non porn product, you might give mojo's cell phone offer a try.
www.clickhereforcellphones.com

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

VERY INTERESTING DOMAIN NAME NEWS from Brujah
It turns out domain name hunters have been POUNDING the ICANN servers.
Brujah writes:
interesting domain news.. if you read it.. check out how hard they were hitting the servers to catch a name
www.icann.org/announcements/icann-pr10aug01.htm

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

COMMENTS ON MIS-SPELLED DOMAINS from Brien
Brien writes:
Just wanted to comment on the guy that registers mis-spelled domains. I
don't see what the problem is with that. If it's not actually the spelling
then there should be no problem. If companies are stupid enough in this day
and age not to register all similar type domains then too bad for them.
With domains costing under $11 then why not do it. I think the guy had a
good idea. Jealous companies should get lost. When you register a name or
trademark a name, you only do the correct spelling. So technically the guy
didn't do anything wrong.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

BAG O' SALT TABLE OF TRIX

COBALT EMAIL LIST from sign_bldr
FREE GALLERY LIST UPDATER by John
OTTO LIGHT by Paul
WHICH OS FASTEST FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE NETOWRK APPLICATIONS by Guru-O-Gif
BOOT FLOPPY DISKS TWO WAYS (FOR FLASHING BIOS) by Guru-O-Gif
JAVA MENU TREES from Shep and guru-O-Gif

MORE NEWS
/******************************************
.INFO BEING RAIDED BY CORPS from sign_bldr
www.zdnet.com/intweek/stories/news/0,4164,5095360,00.html

BRITONS DRAWN TO PORN from Micahel and Heather
news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1484000/1484003.stm

WEB SURVEILANCE UP 500% from shep
news.cnet.com/news/0-1005-200-6873202.html?tag=mn_hd

SHAMELESS PLUGS - CAVEAT EMPTOR
/******************************************
*NEW* HIGHEST PAYING DIALER EVER! IF YOU ARE USING ANY OTHER DIALER...
...you are loosing money! Kick ass rates, holdtimes, fast payment!
offshoreclicks.com
admin@offshoreclicks.com

STOP PASSWORD ABUSE AND HACKER SCRIPTS!
iProtect apache module. Mention ad and get $100 if bought before 8/24
www.digital-concepts.net/cgi-iprotect.html
no_junk_mail@digital-concepts.net

SERIOUS CASH FAST
We pay .45 per min for all calls from USA Germany and Switzerland
www.chatprofits.com/webmasters/index.html
aaron@bicnet.net

ESTABLISHED BUSINESS: AMATEURLAND.COM IS FOR SALE!
Profitable Membership Based Site With HOT Domain Name, Run Since 1996
www.amateurland.com
sitesale@amateurland.com

SEX CONTENTS
Realeased this weekend 150 000 never before seen pics. Set from $4.95
www.sexcontents.com
webmistress@sexcontents.com

REGISTER YOUR NEW DOMAIN NAMES!
Register your new domain names here!
laser.to/newdomains
adultsonly@bigfoot.com

SETTING UP AFFILIATE/WEBMASTER PROGRAM??
Domains for sale: ClickDollars.com, PowerAffiliates.com,MouseMoney.com
www.Owndomain.com
ads@cityscape.net

JACT CONTENT
Affordable high quality downloadable adult content, 4000+ pictures
www.jactcontent.com/?id=sexswap
webmaster@jactcontent.com

AMAZING ADULT SITES
Adult Banner Program that creates monumental banner impressions!
www.amazingadultsites.com
admin@amazingadultsites.com

SOFTWARE HARDWARE
/*****************************************
KVM SWITCH USING CAT5
www.rackittechnology.com/WhatsNew.html

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

LESBIAN LINUX by sign_bldr
porn lesbian linux kernel
www.linuks.mine.nu/porn-get/

TRIX
/******************************************
COBALT EMAIL LIST from sign_bldr
sign_bldr writes:
list.cobalt.com/mailman/listinfo/cobalt-users
I just subscribed to the list. now its emailed to me every day..some cool stuff .. every once in a while... linux stuff

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

FREE GALLERY LIST UPDATER by John
John writes
I recently released some 'gallery list automation software for lazy gallery list owners'. TGPal is a freeware gallery list updater that includes new content so webmasters won't have to review galleries nor spend time getting other webmasters to submit galleries. One version includes links to the webmaster's blindlink management script and a second version is for cleaner sites w/o blinds. tgpal.com

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

OTTO LIGHT by Paul
Paul writes:
www.ott-lite.com
If your readers are looking for the best light source avalible,
check out ott-lite.com .. they create Natural Lite inside and
YES they do make a huge difference, the lights themselves
are pricy like 75.00 for 4 48" tubes get the T 10s , I use the
13 watt on a flex arm extention over my monitors and it saved
my eyes, well worth it and highly recommended.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

WHICH OS FASTEST FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE NETOWRK APPLICATIONS by Guru-O-Gif
this real world study observed a 75% performance gap between the best and worst performing operating systems, with Linux enjoying a 35% lead over runner-up Solaris. Interesting for sure
www.samag.com/articles/2001/0107/0107a/0107a.htm

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

BOOT FLOPPY DISKS TWO WAYS (FOR FLASHING BIOS) by Guru-O-Gif
I was helping my old Pal "Gene La Machine" load Tribes2 this week. It turns out that it is a very hard game to load on certain computers. Once thing Gene had never done is "flash the BIOS". I had done this a few times but had always remembered it being a complete pain in the ass to make a floppy and I finally figured out why.

In windows 98, I would always start by making a RECOVERY DISK
go to START
SETTINGS
CONTROL PANELS
ADD REMOVE PROGRAMS
then the thrid tab on the right is
START UP DISK

if you make a floppy using this, you can't fit the Aflash.exe and the bios on the disk without first removing some crud and I am never sure what to remove. Finally after 163 years, I figured out how all the pro level lads did it. This is Windows98, I still have not figured it out in Win2000

SHOVE FLOPPY IN DRIVE
RIGHT CLICK FLOPPY
CHOOSE FORMAT
I then click the bottom 3 check boxes
NO LABEL
SUMMARY
and then the KEY one
COPY SYSTEM FILES

this copies a bare bones system of 3-4 files onto the floppy and it will boot and has huge room for your BIOS. Here is the mobo ASUS Aflash utility page if anyone is interested
www.asus.com/products/motherboard/bios_tools.html
We then flashed his P2B
www.asus.com/Products/Motherboard/bios_slot1.html#p2b

There is ANOTHER way you can also make boot disks the easy way
BOOTDISK.COM
www.bootdisk.com
and they even have a win98 bios one

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

JAVA MENU TREES from Shep and guru-O-Gif
Shep wrote me asking about java menu trees. I had seen them on sites like Dave Central
www.davecentral.com/windows.html

but I had no idea that there were tons of companies selling this applet. I did some searches and found tons of them!

www.dynamicdrive.com/dynamicindex1/navigate1.htm
www.treemenu.com/
www.imint.com/main.html?http://www.imint.com/itree/itdoc000.htm
www.javazine.net/menutree/
www.sirius22.freeserve.co.uk/Main/Help/TreeHelp/Tree12.html
www.bellcow.com/Training/Java/java7.htm
www.opencube.com/slidem/
home.hawaii.rr.com/cole/TreeView.htm
www.jpowered.com/applets/treemenu/index.htm
softload.narod.ru/internet/web_publishing_tools/links_and_navigation/review_44503_index.html

INTERESTING SITES
/******************************************
THE STATISTICIAN from Brujah
Brujah writes:
GOOD Info!
this site has traffic testing, sponsor testing and more. Live results
thestatistician.com/

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

EZULA from sign_bldr
just like Flyswat that microsoft owns...I would fear a lawsuit...but everyword can be a link
www.ezula.com/

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

NATZKE from Eric
Eric writes
and a more interesting link...yes that gamma flash is neat, but this guy is the real thing ;)
www.natzke.com/main/site/main.html

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

ADULT GOSSIP
hear secrets from adult webmasters on audio
www.adultgossip.com

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

CYBER-DATE
cyber sex with virtual people in a virtual world...woohooo!
www.cyber-date.com/

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

SUPPOSEDLY THE NEXT GOOGLE from Shep and Charles
www.wisenut.com
www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,45905,00.html

guru-O-gif
I just did a search and it was a lot slower than google. hee hee haaa. And check this...my alter ego for car building "butcher of baghdad", is #1 on Google, but not on wisenut so I HAVE to go with google. As Ralph M
www.google.com/search?q=butcher+of+baghdad

GURU OF GIF
/******************************************
PRO LEVEL CALYPSO EMAIL TUTORIAL by Guru-O-Gif
Here are the massive babbling about my favorite email client which is now free! If you want to try it, download it here
www.calypsoemail.com/

there are several pics of screen captures...my screen resolution is a little high so the pictures are going to come in like jumbo on some monitors :)

TOOLBAR
I find it is always easiest to learn a new program with the big goofy Sesame Street buttons with text. I suggest chosing the large buttons with text. Click Windows, toolbar, Large w/text.
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/toolbar.gif

Now on the very right there is a button called Toobar. Click it and you can add or remove stuff from your toolbar. You can also reposition the buttons to a configuration you are more comfortable with. I like to add the fun flags to the bar. There is a red, yello, white and green one and I click these onto important letters I don't want to loose that I need to reply to. I also like "make messages read", and "view full message header" for header investigating. Test the buttons out to get familiar.
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/customize.gif

RIGHT CLICK
when in doubt, try right clicking. If you look down the side menu items like accounts...right click this to add more email accounts, address book..right click to add more names to your address book. Right click filter to start the filtering. If you ever get stuck, try a right click
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/rightclick.gif

FILTERS
once you create a new account in Calypso, you can then start creating filters. I find that this program is one of the easiest in the world to make many custom filters fast. The wierd thing is the very first filter...it is just goofy. I set up this test account just so I make sure I explain it well before switching back to my regular andy@lips settings. The first time you set it up
right click Filter
choose New Definition
Give it a name like PRO-LEVEL SPAM SUCKER
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/filter.gif

now here is the trick...click Select as JunkYard filter and create Base Filter Rule
this is the first filter and I think it just says where and what to do with filtered crud. Now I forgot to do one thing so I am going to tell you one way to do this and then explain an alternative way. For this filter
Click Move to folder
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/movetofolder.gif
when the next screen comes up, click the little button on the right with ... and choose Wastebasket. Then click OK. Then click OK, and at the FILTER DEFINITION screen, click SAVE.
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/prolevel.gif
Now don't worry, you are never locked in and you can change this in the future. I find the wastebasket to be a little harsh. What I like to do is this. Before I start the filter definition...or even after, I prefer to dump all mail into a folder I create. You can call that folder anything...I think I called it Junkyard but that is confusing so maybe call it "Filtered Crud". To make more folders down the side, you can right click on the very top mailbox in the list on the left (auto response, address book, accounts) ...and choose NEW FOLDER and a folder will be added to that list. Why is this a good thing? First, you can make filters to shove mail in these folders. I am on 3-4 listservs and they junk up your email. I get the UltraEdit listserver, and the half-life linux admin emails, and one or two others. For each one I create a folder and then I create a filter to grab any letter from that list and place it in the clean and appropriate folder to read later when I feel like it.

OK, I am going to switch back to my regular calypso email account so the pictures from here on in may look slightly different. I wanted to do that clean filter install to be sure on the instructions. Here is how I set mine up...small buttons up top and you can see I run 3-4 extra folders..one for junkmail, one for cobras (of course), one on taunt.com (mainstream that craig and I work on), and one called "important!".
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/mycalypso.gif

Now let's crack open my filters for a second. Click Filter on the left and then double click the Name of the filter on the right. I believe you can set up more than one filtering system. I just use one main one with many rules.
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/myfilters.gif
You can see I use 11 filters now. I used to have 300 but cut back for simplicity. You can see the pattern I am searching for, the Object, what to do with the filter and HITS ..how many times that filter has been triggered. See Filter #2...there are lots of emails in the SexSwap news database that bounce from time to time...without that filter, I would of had to read 17,919 emails saying "undeliverable mail" ...hee hee haa. So that is one handy filter.

One of my favorite filters is THIS IS NOT SPAM ...holy fuck batman...have you ever got a letter with that saying that isn't SPAM? I also filter for some know virus subject like that snow white and the seven dwarvs virus and the "take a look at this attachment". One of my filters might be a little wierd to understand...see #4 andy@lips.com in the TO: or COPY: ...then go to operator and you see it is NOT ...47,252 hits. What this filter says is...if there is an email to anyone @lips.com except andy@lips.com...toss it in the big round circular file aka trash. You would not believe how many people lie in chatrooms and on newsgroups and everywhere and tell the guy they just had cybersex with that their email is blondy@lips.com ...I get thousands of letters from lonely horny guys saying "cathy, I really had a great time chatting with you on CUseeme last night, can I give you a call this week. Drop me an email so we can hook up again...I think I am in love". Of course Cathy is not cathy and has lied to this poor slob and I get all the dumb blondy emails! 47,252 of them! :) so this filter keeps the poser@lips.com emails in control with a negative NOT filter. My wife's name is spelled odd so I have a filter to catch bad spellings of her name and shoot them off to the correct spelling. And I have my geez email list filter for cobra chatting. What does this all mean? It means that I am a firm believe that you can get some sanity and time back in your day if you spend some time setting up good filters...sending the crud to folders, leaving you with only the letters that need to be read.

OK, let's set up a fun filter together. I call this the "friend that won't stop sending me chain letters and stupid jokes filter". Come on...admit it...you have a sister or brother or work colleage that hammers you with forwarded jokes daily and you are too shy to say "cut it out can't ya!". If you don't have a person in your life doing that...then it could be you who is sending me all those bad jokes! Ah HA! caught you red handed. I just want to yell at those folks and scream "I get 278 email a day...I don't have time for forwarded jokes!" :) That is what I want to say but I don't, instead I filter. Still with me? Here we go

on the filter definition page, click ADD
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/add.gif
In What Pattern to search for: andy@lips.com
in Copy
What action: Move to folder Crud Box (or a folder of your choce)
save

Is this a good filter? In retrospect ..no...it is too powerful and you risk moving important mail because maybe your bank Copy's you email or sometone else. How can we make it better? It would probably much better if we tightened it up. First, who sends you all the junk? Of sourse it is smoothsammy@ibm.com see in the Add Ruler area where it says ONLY and you can press and select AND OR or ONLY ...choose AND
type in the box smoothsammy@ibm.com and click From. You now have a simple filter that grabs all email from smoothsammy where you ar copied to rather than being a direct TO in order to bypass all sammies jokes. There are so many options for filters that you could play around for days in here. Please experiment. Did you see the Action SEND AUTO REPONSE...I should be emailling the 47,252 love sick, lied to guys an appliaction to join adult friend finder! I might make a little coin on the deal :) You can use Calypso as an autoresponder this way and never even see the incoming letters.

I forgot one thing
on the left side, go up to ACCOUNTS, click it, then see your account on the right...right click it and choose ENABLE FILTER ...you have to tell an account to use a series of filter rules.

PRO LEVEL FILTERING FOR SPEED FREAKS
there is even an easier way to do all this. the fastest way to set new filters is just to HIGHLIGHT or select WHAT you want to filter. Here is half an example...maybe I think all emails with the words URGENT MESSAGE are spam. Highlight that, then go to your toolbar and click the old BOOT...and the boot kicks that spam into submission...you can then make up the rest of the filter in seconds.
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/quickfilter.gif
Don't forget that on the toolbar you can click HEADER button and then filter out or in based on a senders email etc.

I think that is enough filter talk to last for the next 5 years.

SIGNATURES
here is my last Calypos tip for the week. So you are a webmaster and get 421 emails a day and you are burnt out. Well Bucko, I bet 50% or more of those letters ask the same questions? And I bet you type the same responses over and over. I know I do :) Here are some things I get asked daily
How do I join the newsletter
How do I get a free plug
My banner won't load
Do you know any good hosts
Where can I get content
What are the good third party billers

these are some of the questions that I get asked or used to get asked all the time. One simple and efficient way of asnwering them is with SIGNATURE FILES. For each one of these I have a pre canned signature response.
Right click on signature and choose compose and start writing your first signature
trix.sexswap.com/calypso/signature.gif
You can see all my old signatures there. Lately I have only used about 5 of those so I need to do some house keeping. One you are in an email and typing back to the person, then just RIGHT CLICK again in the body of the letter...choose INSERT SIGNATURE and insert one from your pre canned list. With filters and signatures, you regain control of the email beast.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

CALLING ALL ULTRA EDIT 32 EXPERTS
Do any of you use UltraEdit? I love this piece of software and have used it for years.
www.ultraedit.com
I think there is a free 30 day demo
If you use it, can you make a Macro? I couldn't make one if my life depended on it. Anyone want to share any of their macros? I would love a macro to clean my email lists...I can already Sort and remove duplicates from the program itself...how can I then
search all rows for a '@' and a '.' (ampersand and period)
and if they are NOT found, delete that row...thereby killing dumb emails like
bubba@ssss
juimyy.jimmy
slick

those would all give my email server convulsions. Send me that Macro and I will give you a prize...something of value...maybe $10 or more...or maybe I will offer you one of five items from my geek drawer of crud! There are some good things in there...video cards, HDs, and more...be first to send in that code, and you get to pic a great prize.

BONUS
ok, here is a big one. Is this possible in ultra edit

matt wrote me this code to fix up my sexswap archives

for i in *ht{m,ml}; \
do sed -e 's#\(http:[^ <]*\)#<a href="\1">\1</a>#g' $i > $i.temp;
mv $i.temp $i;
done;

it looks in a file for web urls like

www.foo.com

and then changes them to

<a href="www.foo.com">http://www.foo.com</a>

If you can tell me how to do this in Ultra Edit, I will award you the grand prize of...your choice
Black or White Zip Drive
or
9 GIG Seagate Cheetah Ultra SCSI HD (funny pin setup...never used) ST39103LC
or
one of my last two, ultra rare, highly sought after, "Jim Beam Zippo Lighters".

there are the two challenges! First peson with correct answer wins stuff in my computer junk drawers! But it is good stuff and works...sure I could sell it on ebay but I am lazy and don't like people and having to go to post office :)

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

COBRA NEWS
for all you bottow readers...guess what...this week I got my california plates! and I got my pink slip ...wooo hooo! I can't tell you how I did it or I'd have to kill ya ;) The car is still in complete dissoray...it is in as bad of shape as my spelling. Hopefully I will have good fun pics of progess shortly.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

THE FIGHTS
Don't miss the David Tua fight this Saturday! HEY...didn't I tell you...the young lad with purple hair put the hurt on Mark Kerr. Kerr controlled the match with wrestling but had no way to finish. The crowd began to boo and boo. The ref said "enough of this" and stood them up. Health screamed like a mad man and went postal...7 knees to the head and the fight was all over. Kerr, the beaten Gladiator. I can just hear it in Kerr's voice. I had the same problem in foosball. When you stop loving what you do, then you don't know why you are there. Kerr has no idea why he is there. Heath on the other hand...eats, sleeps, drinks and thinks fighting 24 7. I used to hate playing punk kids in foosball. They were away from mom, in some fun hotel, slapping around old guys with big bellies. They got no mortgage, they got no job, they got no car troubles...man that would get my goat :) ah to be young and focused. Here is Kerr's interview after the fight...normally he says his white blood cell count was low or some other mental reason...glad to see he said the kid was just good
www.pridefc.com/BackEnd/Interview/InterviewList.cfm?Interview_ID=182
and here is what Heath had to say after he battle
www.pridefc.com/BackEnd/Interview/InterviewList.cfm?Interview_ID=181
here are the lads interviewed before the fight
www.pridefc.com/BackEnd/Interview/InterviewList.cfm?Interview_ID=163
www.pridefc.com/BackEnd/Interview/InterviewList.cfm?Interview_ID=164

Do they need a Jimmy The Greek in ixed Martial Arts? If they do, I'm available. I'll need a title. "Karate O' Chop" :)

So you thought boxing was all sweat and tears...man, I spend all my time looking at the pretty boxing pictures here ;)
www.babesofboxing.com/babeofweek.html

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

GOTO UPDATE
today checked (3 pages seperated so I can tell where traffic coming from)...5 clicks...1 sign up...Holy Smoke! I better get more words submitted

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

those are my stories

chow mein wayne

Andy
andy@lips.com

SEXSWAP PRO-LEVEL TRIX ARCHIVE
trix.sexswap.com

GAMMA WEBMASTER CHAT
chatboard.gammae.com/ubbcgi/Ultimate.cgi

GAMMA FREE HOSTING
www.erotism.com

MAXIMIZE GAMMACASH
maximize.gammacash.com/

GAMMACASH
www.gammacash.com/